It?s a constant awe to me how the Lord teaches us and stretches us. In those times when we feel as though we?re walking with God and then in a day everything changes and we?re thrown on our head. As though we finally looked to our left and saw how far God was from us and looked down to see the things standing in our way. Those things un-prayed for, things we?ve taken on or have been set on us that weigh us down, and the distractions of life.
These times are when we look at our broken bodies and realize how little we can really do. It?s been a very hard day today because I?m seeing how my reliance has shifted, over the course of a couple days, from on the Lord unto myself. The hardest part about it is to see how easily it happened. This just goes to show me the importance of persistence and obedience in my walk with the Lord.
My schedule has gotten so busy lately, RA is becoming a lot of work (I?ve been on duty five out of the last six days), starting to build up my ministry team for STINT, course work, stepping out of Crusade at Stout, trying to find time to talk to everyone I need to or want to before the year is over. I had originally thought that I would be able to spend the first week of the next semester here before flying to France, but now that isn?t possible (we have a conference we leave from in the latter part of August).
Similar things are happening as when I first took over the evangelism team, or was preparing to leave for France the last time. I tend to get stressed out looking at everything that needs to get checked off the list before it can happen, and not even doubting that it will, just seeing the length of the journey can make me feel more distant from God. In all reality it is times like this where He will become more real to me then he?s ever been. It would be the best to describe this spot as waiting, I?m between being here and being there. Perhaps between isn?t the right word, maybe both works better. Physically I?m here and needing to be diligent with my responsibilities at Stout, and at the same time my mind is running through the summer and into France.
Keep seeking the Lord for your brokenness,
~paul