I absolutely hate this feeling, being so confused and spun around. Having satan standing in the shadows of my soul pulling and teasing the light to stray. Father give me strength and allow me to accept that you don?t allow me to stray far from you, from true life.
RA? Could it be so? Could I soon be a resident advisor? It seems fate but is it simply a ploy to distract me from what I?m called to, could it be my call changing and my own stubbornness raising up. My mind has been everywhere over the past couple hours, allow me to explain…
Monday I got back from my super long day and had a message on the answering machine from the hall director of Hovlid telling me the exact same thing that the HD of Wigen had told me about an RA opportunity there. After I got back from east asia I had decided that being an RA would simply distract me from what I felt called to on this campus. Because I am the E-team leader here it appears to me that my target area should be the whole campus, the fact that being an RA would require me to really focus on the guys on my floor in greater sense then I am now. I guess a breakdown is probably the best way to do this.
Before I had the interview for the RA spot in Wigen I had been praying for north campus and revitalization to occur up there. Christians to really be raised up left and right and for people to truly live for Him there so when the opportunity came to be an RA I was really excited about it. I had just missed the due date to be an RA for this whole year last fall. I?ve seen myself as an RA and it was one of the reasons I was so bold in my interview and in talking to others about it. Needless to say that when I didn?t get it I was quite shocked, because so many things affirmed my desire to be an RA. It shook me harder then I admitted even to myself, hit me hard through east asia and since I?ve been back until the last couple days. Once I finally grew past it the Lord presented me with this amazing blessing to be an RA! Now let me explain why this is so out there…
After getting back from East Asia I had decided against being an RA (for the reason in the third paragraph) so I didn?t go to the interview that Monday. I sent them an email after the interview happened telling them I was sorry and if they needed someone I could come in and do another interview, they said they didn?t and not to bother. So I then skipped the group interview on Sunday night as well. At some point during all of this I got an email from someone at res-life telling me my application was incomplete and that I needed to get it completed to be considered for a position. Sitting here with all of this before me it was an obvious two strikes against me, I had cut my losses and mentally started moving on. Through the different circumstances that had occurred I had gone from having four roommates, to a single, to one roommate, and actually ended up back with a single for next year (signed up this week). Later that night I finally had time in my room to check our message, it was another hall director.
I won?t attempt to explain why she called me, why I was offered the position, why I was the first RA selected from the pool of everyone else (who went to the interview and had a completed application). The only thing I will say of this is that God?s hand has been in it from the start, he?s been preparing me and guiding me. He?s cleansed my heart, prepared my surroundings, revealed ministry plans, and worked through all the hall directors on campus to place me at Hovlid next semester. I am blessed beyond belief, way past it and only pray that I can continue to let Christ live through and in me more everyday.
Moving to the north side!
~paul